Food Diary

Hey guys, I know I am a bad blogger. You can kind of see that from my track record. I think I may use this blog to post what I eat on the days I feel like posting, although I'll try to make this fairly consistent. When I get un-lazy I may even start taking pictures of my meals/snacks :)

Daily calorie goal: 1,430 (to lose 1 pound a week)

Breakfast: 270 Calories
2 dippy eggs
1/2 C of Hashbrowns (just natural potatoes, no grease)
2 pieces of turkey bacon

Lunch: ~400 (I didn't exactly measure everything, so 400 is on the high end. I didn't drink the whole smoothie either because it turned out to be huge and VERY filling.)
Green Monster made of...

• ~1 or 1.5 C baby spinach
• 1 C nonfat Greek yogurt (23 grams of protein per cup!!!)
• 1 T sunflower seed butter (OMG amazing)
• 1 frozen banana
• 1 C frozen peaches
• ~1 C almond milk (maybe less)

Dinner: TBA, but I have ~730 calories to play with for the rest of the day.

Seriously, if you haven't made a Green Monster yet- go do it now! You can't even taste the spinach! To find out more about it go visit the official website www.greenmonstermovement.com :)

Great Day to be Alive!

So guys, about 2 weeks ago I posted about my heartbreaking breakup. Well, I actually feel really good now! I've been leaning on my faith in God, and it really has done wonders for my morale. I just want to shout from the rooftops how great I feel! I know breaking up was the right thing to do, and we can move on and be friends.

I'm excited to start grad school next month and am so excited to see what this next chapter of my life holds.

It's so funny because I thought that when I was 22, I'd be planning a wedding or already be married. Obviously, life didn't turn out that way. And I am a-okay with that. I have never been more at peace with anything in my entire life.

Life is amazing and I am excited to see what is in store for me!

Trials and Tribulations

Sorry for the (once again) hiatus from posting here, guys. To be honest, there are multiple reasons. For one, I've been very busy. Two, I've just also been...lazy, for lack of a better word.

Lately, life has been anything but rainbows and butterflies. A few days ago, my boyfriend (of 3 and a half years) and I mutually decided it was best to end our relationship. Since this is a public domain and all, I don't feel the whole freakin world deserves to know why. Our breakup was one of the most mature conversations we've ever had and it remained amicable, albeit super hard. I would argue this is the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do, and the hardest thing I've ever had to endure. I am just thankful that we are going to remain friends and do not harbor any resentment or bitterness towards each other. We both knew it had to happen (for our own personal reasons), so there's no sense in hate, bitterness, or resentment.

I've had my fair share of tears, emotional tirades, and doubts over the course of 3 days. I can't even begin to describe how much pain I'm in (mostly emotionally, but some of that emotional pain has manifested physical symptoms, such as a literally heavy-feeling heart), and this is by far the most pain and hurt I've ever felt. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on ANYBODY.

Today happens to be one of those days I just feel "ok" with things. I have a feeling that I'll have to take this whole thing day by day because I absolutely know that I will not feel "ok" every day. I mean for God's sake, we were together 3 and a half years! I haven't been single since I was 18. I'll be 22 in 5 days and this is the first time I've been single as an adult. It's going to take a long time for me to adjust to all this change.

To top it all off, I move to a new city in exactly 7 weeks from today. Granted, it's to start grad school (one of my major life goals/dreams), but I hate hate HATE uprooting my life. On the other hand, I think it will be good for my healing process to start fresh in a new town at a new college where nobody knows me as "Court's girlfriend" and nobody will ask "OMG Y'ALL BROKE UP! WHYYYYYY?". This will give me a chance to gain more friendships and to pour my heart and soul into other things.

I'm really taking this time to lean on God. There has never been a rough moment in my life that God hasn't carried me through, and I don't believe that will change. I think God realized that with my almost nonstop crying for 2 consecutive days I needed a break today. So far, today has been alright. I haven't cried at all, so that's a step in the right direction. I also believe God has the right man picked out for me and will introduce said man into my life when He deems fit to do so.

But, WOW. Life is NOT what I thought it would be at this age. I always figured by age 22 I would either be married or at least planning a wedding and living out my "happily ever after". Needless to say, life didn't turn out the way I expect. That's definitely one lesson I learned from all this.

Everything will be alright. I just have to take it one day at a time until the day comes that I am TRULY at peace with this breakup. I look forward to the day where I can say I feel no pain and can move forward with my life. For now, I'm going to pour myself into strengthening my relationship with God, working out, eating better (both to lose weight), kicking BUTT in school, work (a graduate assistantship I got with the school I'm going to) and getting plugged into a few organizations.

Trigger foods

So as any of you who have struggled nearly all their lives with weight, you know that there is always a list (large or small) of trigger foods. I define trigger foods as the following:

Trigger foods- certain types of food that once they are around, you can't say no to eating them; once you start eating them, you can't stop at just "a little"- foods that trigger you to binge (on that certain food or foods)

I think a lot of you know what I'm talking about. For instance, if I order pizza, I can eat nearly the whole thing in one sitting most of the time. Tonight I ate the whole thing in one sitting (the only redeeming qualities were the thin whole-wheat crust and that it was covered in veggies and less cheese than usual). Another occasion is either when I make cookies or someone else makes cookies. I can't just eat one or two and feel satisfied. I have to eat like 4 or 5- you know, when I feel like I'm about to lapse into a sugar coma.

I don't binge-eat on EVERYTHING I eat- just a select number of foods.

Tonight after eating a whole pizza (even though it was as healthy as a pizza can be made), I have decided to stop eating trigger foods altogether, at least until I can get control of my eating habits. To start small, I'm going to make myself go at least a week without any trigger foods. My list of trigger foods is as follows:

Stephanie's List of Trigger Foods

• Pizza
• Mac & Cheese
• Pasta (of any kind)
• Cookies (especially peanut butter, sugar, or chocolate chip)
• Bread (the white, processed "crap" kind- whole wheat doesn't trigger me to overeat)
• Chips
• Rice (only white rice- brown rice doesn't taste good enough for me to binge on)

Here's to kicking my trigger food habit once and for all. Maybe one day I can be one of those people with a healthy perspective on eating the things they like to eat, just in small quantities.

Here are 3 questions I have for those of you who can relate.

1. What are YOUR trigger foods?
2. How do you cope with the urge to binge when they are around?
3. Have you ever overcame the problem of binging on "trigger" foods? If so, how did you do it?

One step at a time

So, after weeks and weeks of beating myself up about the fact that I let myself gain back the 25 pounds I lost (plus one or two more pounds) and weeks of wishing I would just eat a perfect diet 100% of the time, I decided to let that go today.

I got in all my veggie/fruit servings today and all my veggies even happened to be green! I have had tons of protein, all lean sources from chicken and eggs. Hey, they say green veggies have the most nutrients, right? After work, I leashed my dog up and went for a walk in the beautiful sunlight.

At dinner, I had 2 pieces of white bread- you know, the processed, bad-for-you kind. And you know what? I didn't beat myself up for it. For the past couple months, I'll set out at the beginning of the day to eat perfectly healthy all day. When I slip up, I beat myself up (mentally) and just gorge on more unhealthy food. Counterproductive, right? I wish I could be as logical with my food choices and my relationship with food as I am in other aspects of life.

I believe a big part of being healthy physically is being mentally healthy, too. It's something I'm trying to work on. With all the crap that's been going on with me lately in my personal life (not gonna get into it all on here, aside from what I said a few posts ago), it's been really, REALLY, REALLY hard to get my head back in the weight loss game.

I'm going to try to take it one step at a time- one meal at a time, one snack at a time, one day at a time.

If I knew then what I know now...

Stress and (lack of) weight-loss

This is going to be a short post because I just have one question to ask.

How do you get your head in the game to lose weight when you're going through all these stressful life changing events? All I want to do is stress eat.

Any answers appreciated, the more honest (and helpful) the better!

Bring the Rain!

Ok, so the title of this post is meant in more than one way. The first way is a pretty light meaning- there have been tons of allergens in the air here in North Texas lately and it's bringing my allergy symptoms back in full force! I feel tired, sneeze all the time, and my throat is itchy (my classic allergy symptoms). I can't go anywhere without having a Kleenex on hand for fear of snot hanging all over my nose and getting on hands (LOL!). Some rain is definitely in order!

The second meaning is that this involves the title of a song I've been obsessed with lately. I've been going through a ton of changes in life lately. I don't like change much because it turns my life upside down and well...I don't like that feeling!

• Graduating college in December- amazing feeling but that brought changes of its own
• Looking for a job while applying to grad schools in the meantime
• Adjusting to said new job because it involves teaching (not a full fledged teacher, but a Compliance Teacher, at least)- my degree is in psychology!
• Applying to grad schools. In the process I got rejected by one of my top choices, but got accepted to an even better program. 
• Recently I found out about another option I have for grad school- now I have two places to choose from when I thought my place of grad school was all set. 
• I still think I'll attend my first place because I have a good feeling in my gut about the place, and it's more prestigious in the school psychology world than the latter option.
• If I go to the more prestigious option, I have to move and find a new apartment. Finding a new apartment involves looking for a place that accepts a 95 pound lab for rent I can afford (I found one place so far that looks promising, at least!) is proving to be a challenging feat!
• I also have to find furniture to furnish said apartment
• I also have to find a way to pay for said prestigious school- the tuition isn't cheap! I'm saving all my money and am thankfully getting a graduate assistantship from the school. Unfortunately, it doesn't pay for all tuition- boo hiss! Oh well.
• The priest at my church sent a truly appalling message in the weekly message this week and it angered me enough to where I am no longer attending that church. Now I have to look for another church. I know I don't "need" to go to church to get closer to God, but I feel like it is an integral part of my life that I am now wanting to give up just yet.

I know eventually all the changes will smooth out. Everything happens for a reason. Now I leave you with some things that are helping me stay positive through the changes. Odd enough, I feel even closer to God through all the stressful changes. All the stress is making me have no choice but to lean on Him and pray. It's all making me feel very connected with God. See, good things come out of any situation!

*Disclaimer: To those who do not believe in God, please don't interpret this as me pushing my beliefs on anybody or getting "preachy". This is what I believe and what has worked for me, and everyone has the right to their own beliefs. If you don't believe as I do, then that is just fine with me! No judgment to other beliefs here :)*

"...but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." [Romans 5:3-8]


"In all things God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to His purpose." [Romans 8:28]


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall make your paths straight." [Proverbs 3: 5-6]


"Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." [Shakespeare] (I can't be afraid to be great, because all this will make me better in the end, even though in this case it's being "thrust" upon me)

And...a music video to sum up my feelings about the changes.

 

Only on day 4...

And I've already had 2 biscuits and a piece of cornbread.

Fail.

Tomorrow's another day, right? Here's to tomorrow!

I'm baaaaack!

So, you'll never guess.

I'm back on the weight loss wagon for the bazillionth time as of Monday.

The cynic in me says "hmmmm let's see how long this will last".

The optimistic in me says "you can do it this time! Get your head in the game and you'll be unstoppable!"

Let's see who wins.

P.S. All I want right now is a huge bowl of mac & cheese and/or some cheese enchiladas...great. LOL!

Nails in the Fence

First of all, let me preface this post by saying I am SO SORRY for not blogging! I just haven't had anything interesting to say lately.

I do have some exciting news! Today I got to be the main teacher in the class of 29 kids I'm a Compliance Teacher in. The main teacher had to go do some science camp thing for the day so I was left in charge with someone else assisting me with things like basically watching out for the kids with bad behavior and stuff. Being the teacher in charge today was exhilarating and felt amazing! If I wasn't going to grad school to be a School Psychologist and the job market for teachers wasn't so bad right now, I would jump on getting certified and just try to get my own classroom. I really think I'm going to work on getting certified to teach Elementary level and Special Ed in case one day I'd like to "tinker" around with teaching.

Now to an interesting story that teaches us the power of words (with a short preface of my own).
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I heard this story years and years ago. Once again, my dad made me aware of this story when I was a teenager and had problems with saying hurtful things out of anger. The lesson in this story is that words have power and should not be taken lightly; especially when speaking out of anger. He has always taught me to never make decisions or say things when I am emotionally compromised.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.” 

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said “I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you.”

“Of course I can,” said the father.
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Next time you are angry and are about to say something hurtful, think to yourself: am I going to say this just because I'm angry? Is it going to have harmful effects to someone I love? Am I going to unnecessarily wound someone who loves me/I love?

Words have immense power- use them wisely. 

(I still have to work on this almost daily!)

I'M GOING TO...

GRAD SCHOOL!

Yes, my title deserves all caps.

I just got the news yesterday that I've been accepted to one of the top graduate programs for School Psychology in the state of TX and even the nation!

Here's to kicking butt and finally getting to make my mark on society!

My dream career is finally starting to come to life! :)

• Graduating college- CHECK!
• Getting some teaching experience like I always wanted- CHECK!
• Teach a kid to read- CHECK! (well, starting to read)
• Get accepted to grad school- CHECK!
• Get engaged- not quite yet (but that's ok!)

My life is on track for sure! :)

100 things about me

So I've seen a couple posts around the blogging world and thought I would try to share 100 things about me (that hopefully don't backfire! haha).

1. Whoever did my mom's ultrasound when she was pregnant with me said I was going to be a boy. They were wrong, needless to say.
2. The same thing happened with my boyfriend, except vice versa. Weird how that works, huh?
3. I was born on my due date.
4. My parents had to pay me in quarters so I would stop sucking my thumb.
5. Both mine and Court's parents were married in February.
6. This makes me want a February wedding when the day comes for me to get married :)
7. I never met my paternal grandfather.
8. I have never had to deal with the grief of losing a family member. My dad's parents died when I was too young to remember them or know what death was (I was 3 when they died).
9. My dad wanted to have 6 kids but my parents couldn't get pregnant again.
10. This means I'm an only child.
11. I was never spoiled like a lot of only children are. I had to work for what I wanted.
12. I'm also an only grandchild for my maternal grandparents.
13. I'm the shortest person in my family.
14. I've been the same height since I was 14.
15. My shoe size has shrunk over the last (almost) 2 years.
16. I graduated as the Outstanding December 2010 Graduate of the Psychology department :)
17. I didn't like kids until I started my job 3 months ago.
18. I think I actually like kids better than adults now. LOL!
19. I've been craving Terra, a kickass Mediterranean restaurant, for the last 2 months. What's a girl gotta do to satisfy her craving?
20. Labrador Retrievers (I just call them labs) are my favorite dog in the world!
21. I believe all mistakes are worthwhile as long as you learn the lessons they give.
22. Sometimes I entertain the thought of being full on vegetarian...
23. But then I remember I like to eat meat :)
24. I only eat meat about once a day.
25. I've been with Court for 3 years and almost 2 months.
26. I just tried to play a bad April Fool's joke on Facebook.
27. The joke involved changing my relationship status to "single".
28. It lasted for about 5 minutes, tops.
29. I'm a terrible liar.
30. And apparently I'm bad at April Fool's jokes.
31. I feel like I connect with God best through music.
32. I try to remember to pray every day, but oftentimes I forget to.
33. Listening to positive music makes me feel more connected to God than when I pray.
34. I'm thinking about being confirmed Catholic someday.
35. I was raised in the Episcopal church and now attend an Anglican church (which is a lot like the Catholic church).
36. I've never changed a baby's diaper.
37. I don't think I could ever change anyone's diaper besides my own (future) children and grandchildren.
38. Dolphins have always been my favorite animal.
39. I watch iCarly and discuss it regularly with my 1st grade kiddos.
40. I love love love to cook!
41. Sometimes I contemplate going to culinary school when I'm older and have the money.
42. I like school.
43. I want to get my PhD someday and become a college professor after becoming an expert in my field.
44. I so desperately hope I get into my master's program(s) I applied for!
45. I play the piano.
46. I also play all percussion instruments.
47. I got a queen bed for my college graduation present from my grandparents. Best gift ever!
48. I miss my old college town.
49. Every time I drive into it, I feel like I'm coming home.
50. My boyfriend is also my best friend.
51. I knew he was the one I was meant to be with even before I fell in love with him.
52. I also knew that before we even started officially dating!
53. Our first date was seeing Juno in theaters January 2008.
54. His car was acting weird so I had to drive us on our first date!
55. Don't worry, he paid for the movie tickets :)
56. Over the years, I have learned to be more optimistic.
57. I used to be the negative pessimist who assumed the worst.
58. Court is the one I owe my newfound optimism to.
59. Life is so much better seeing the brighter side of things.
60. My favorite TV show is The Big Bang Theory.
61. My favorite characters on iCarly are Gibby and Spencer.
62. My first ever spanking was for lying to my dad when I was 4 years old.
63. I not-so-secretly hope that Jesus will come to get us (yes, I'm a Christian and this is my own personal belief- that's all!) before I have to lose anybody I love.
64. The first person I lost in my life that I cared about was an old high school friend who died in a car accident in August 2010.
65. He was driving drunk :(
66. Ironically as I was driving off from his funeral, I got in my first car accident.
67. If I was going to be a boy, my first name was going to be Matthew and my middle name was going to be Christopher.
68. My middle name is the same as my mom's.
69. I know my grandma is mad at me when she uses my first AND middle name to address me.
70. Although I am my own person and march to the beat of my own drum...
71. I really hate disappointing people.
72. I can't stand it when I disappoint my parents.
73. Almost to the extent that I'm a "parent pleaser".
74. If Paula Deen was my mom or grandma, I would weigh 300 pounds. LOL!
75. I wish I had a group of girlfriends like they have in Sex and the City.
76. I'm perfectly content sitting at home with my dog.
77. I don't like big parties.
78. At work, I like things to be inconsistent because...
79. It makes the job more fun not knowing what to expect day-to-day!
80. In life, I like consistency.
81. I hate change.
82. My relationship with change is love-hate, but mostly hate.
83. I've never had a healthy perspective/relationship with food.
84. I'm trying to learn how to have that.
85. I've always struggled with my weight.
86. I have to have to HAVE TO get at least 8 hours of sleep a night.
87. If I don't, I get cranky.
88. I'm starting to become addicted to Starbucks.
89. The first thing Court ever said to me was "Did you go to Hawaii?"
90. I was wearing a t-shirt I got as a souvenir from my visit to Hawaii as a high school graduation gift from my parents.
91. In response to that question (which I perceived as kind of a dumb question, haha) I said "uhhh...yeah...."
92. I still sleep with stuffed animals.
93. I can't wrap my head around the thought that running a marathon is something (some) people do for FUN.
94. I don't drink (alcohol).
95. Water is my favorite drink (seriously!).
96. My favorite drink to order in a restaurant is unsweetened iced tea.
97. I like lemon in my water, but not my tea.
98. I like orange juice, but not oranges.
99. I think Brussels Sprouts and celery are the two most vile tasting things on Earth.
100. This was way easier than I thought it would be.

If you read this, my hat goes off to you! If you read it, what was the thing(s) you found most entertaining?

Life Lessons from Marshall

This post was inspired by two cute posts from PB Fingers and Carrots N Cake about life lessons they have learned from their dogs. Here is what Marshall could teach us :-)

Take time to rest.

Take time to be silly!

If you need something, don't be afraid to ask for it!

Belly rub please, Mommy!

Mommies know best.

  

 Grandparents are great!

Grandma

Grandpa

Don't take things that don't belong to you.

Take care of your things.

Friends are a real treasure and not to be taken for granted!

Marshall and Jake

Marshall and his old best friend Hazel (R.I.P.)

Madchen (pronounced May-Chin) and Marshall

Marshall and Hazel

Marshall and Court

Marshall and my grandparents' Miniature Schnauzer, Annie (best buds!)

Car rides can be fun!

What has your pet taught you?

Sorry!

I'm SO sorry for not posting since March 4th. Yikes! A lot has been going on. What has been going on since my last post, you ask?

• Had my grad school interview on March 10th. I should know my admission status relatively soon (within another week or two) and am chomping at the bit! I seriously check my email so many times a day now (they said the admission letter would come via email)!
• Suffered from insane allergies- hello allergy medications that are so strong they make you woozy and dazed!
• Drove to Sedona, Arizona on Spring Break vacation with my mom and a family friend...and of course Marshall!
• Got a 24 hour stomach virus that made me miserable for part of the vacation
• Gave my mom the stomach virus 3 days later :(
• Drove to the Grand Canyon and took some amazing pictures! (will post them next time)
• Went on a jeep tour through the mountains of beautiful Sedona
• Drove home and am back in the good ole state of TX!
• Got a pedicure- my feet look awesome now!
• Went on a couple dates with Court- I missed him so much!
• Saw Hall Pass last night- a must see!
• Had a revelation about my food choices when I was sick (I thought it was food poisoning at first, but since my mom got sick the same way I was 3 days later I guess it was a virus- sad face)- will make a whole post about that another day (or perhaps later today? depends on if I get time)

So as you can see, I have been a busy bee! I don't know how some of my favorite bloggers (see Blog Roll) make time to post TWICE a day while working full-time jobs and caring for their loved ones. I work full-time and by the time I get home from work I'm too tired to do anything except relax or maybe cook dinner! Props to you bloggers who can work full-time AND post twice a day. Perhaps if I had access to a computer at work I could make more time to post, but working with 1st graders leaves no time for computers, haha.

How has everybody's month of March been? Anything exciting going on?

The Starfish Story

I love this story! I first heard of it from my dad, who is pretty much me in the form of an older male. We have the same goal- that is always to make a positive difference in someone's life, even if it's just one person. It doesn't matter what I end up doing in life- I could be a garbage collector and would be happy as long as I made a difference in someone's life. My goal and purpose for being here has always been to help others in any way I can (at least, I feel that is my purpose for being here).

This story is just a reminder that even if you make a difference for one person, that person could possibly make a difference in someone else's life just because of what you did for them. See the cycle? This reminds me of "Pay it Forward"- do something nice for someone, then they do something nice for someone, and so on. The cycle never ends! You should never think you're doing something in vain if you're selflessly working to serve someone else's needs :-)

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adapted from The Star Thrower
by Loren Eiseley (1907 - 1977)

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

What are your thoughts on this story? How does it feel for you when you make a difference in someone's life? Are you always working to make someone's life better?

Mexican Lasagna

Let me preface this by saying sorry this does not have a picture. Next time I make this recipe, I'll edit this post and include a picture! But just imagine the goodness as I share this knock-out recipe.

I came up with this recipe from a daydream I had in my head. My mom, grandma, and me all cook the same- we dream up these recipes that always seem to come out well. And oh, it turned out amazing! Here's how to make the amazing-ness. I call it Mexican Lasagna because it's structured like a lasagna (sort of) but using Mexican food ingredients instead of Italian :)

Ingredients

• 1 pound 96-4 ground beef (96% lean, 4% fat)
• Cumin, cayenne, and garlic (to taste)
• 1 (7oz.) can green chiles
• 1 cup diced tomatoes (you could use Rotel too, but I didn't want it to be too salty)
• 2 regular sized cans of enchilada sauce of your choice (I used medium level because I like it kind of spicy!)
• 2 T extra virgin olive oil
• 1 can fat free refried beans (if you want more beans you can add another can)
• 2 cups Mexican blend shredded cheese
• 12 corn tortillas

Directions

• Preheat oven to 350
• Heat a nonstick skillet on about medium-high heat and add EVOO
• Brown beef and season with cayenne, cumin, and garlic
• After beef is browned, pour in the can of green chiles and half a can of enchilada sauce
• Spray nonstick cooking spray in a casserole dish and pour the other half of the enchilada sauce on the bottom of the dish (this is like the equivalent of pouring pasta sauce on the bottom for an Italian lasagna)
• Layer approximately 6 corn tortillas on the bottom, overlapping them so that the whole bottom is covered (this is like the "noodles" if you were making a classic lasagna)
• Spread on the can of fat free refried beans all over the tortillas (this is like the ricotta mixture in a lasagna)
• Pour on beef mixture (just like you would when making a lasagna)
• Sprinkle the cup of diced tomatoes
• Layer on the other 6 tortillas
• Pour the other can of enchilada sauce over the tortillas
• Cover the top with 2 cups of cheese
• Bake uncovered for about 30 minutes or until cheese is bubbly and golden
• Wait a few minutes before serving so that it sets and cools

Seriously. Make this now. Your whole family will thank you! My family loved it! When I took my leftovers to lunch, my coworkers raved about how good it made the room smell. It will only please, not disappoint! :-)
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On another note, today is my boyfriend's birthday and he is 23 years old! I can't believe it. He was just about 3 weeks short of turning 20 when we started dating and now he's 23. I was 18 when we started dating and I'll be 22 in a few months! I know the both of us are still young but it's hard to believe. Here are a couple pics of when we first started dating (literally about a week into the relationship). I knew even then, before we fell in love, that he was the one I'm meant to be with :-) I am so very fortunate to have found someone as great as him!

Awwwww, puppy love stage. We look so glowy!

The lighting in his apartment really sucked, haha. More "puppy love" glow. Awwww!

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My grad school interview is in exactly a week! I can't wait, I am itching to get it done and make a good impression to earn my spot in the program of my dreams :) My boyfriend has been talking with professors and advisors to start grad school for a M.S. in Math (I think he would start January 2012 since he graduates with his B.S. in Engineering Physics this December 2011) and he has found a way to become a graduate assistant and go to grad school for free! I am so proud of him. I'm excited for the both of us to get our Masters degrees (well, mine will be a Specialist degree- higher than a Masters and not quite as high as a PhD).

Well, it's time to get ready for bed. Goodnight!

Don't mess with Texas!

175 years ago, the men and women of Texas stood up against Mexico demanding independence. Texas became a republic in a little over two months after declaring independence from Mexico in 1836. Nine years later in 1845, Texas became the 28th state in the United States. This upset Mexico who declared war on Texas and the U.S. This led to the U.S. conquering New Mexico an California and overtaking Mexico City which led to the Mexican Cession.

Moral of the story: Don't Mess With Texas!

Happy Independence Day, Texas! God Bless The Lone Star State!

Speaks for itself, right? ;-)

March goals

I can't believe it's already March! Seems like just yesterday it was February 1st and we got some snow that would last for around 4 days. Anyway, here are some goals I would like to accomplish in March.

• Kick butt in my interview to hopefully earn my spot in grad school! (T-9 days to go)
• Make better choices with food- not always perfect choices, but at least eat healthy foods more often than unhealthy foods
• Stop overeating so often! Overeating is a big problem of mine- it almost seems comfortable to overeat, even though the too-full feeling afterward is FAR from comfortable
• Post on here more!

That's about all I have for March. If I come up with more, I will update!

What are your March goals? How did your February goals fare?

Before and After in reverse

Just in case you forgot, in summer of 2009 I lost 24 pounds and looked great. I felt healthy, I looked thin, and I was wearing a size 8. I had a "glow" about me and felt beautiful.

Before (thin and glowy)

My boyfriend, grandpa and me at my dad's 50th birthday party last year.

After (still confident in myself but less glowy and definitely not thin)

Graduation in December 2010. I don't look "fat" or anything but at this time (and still now) my weight climbed and I gained the 24 pounds I lost- plus 1 more.

So what does this all mean? I am disappointed in myself for letting myself gain back all the weight. It feels like it canceled out all my hard work and now my "skinny" clothes don't fit anymore. As a matter of fact, my former "fat" clothes (please know I'm keeping this as a relative term since we all have different feelings of when we feel fat) are right back to how they used to fit. Actually, in a brand of jeans I like (but they run small) I had to buy a 14 the other day because my 12s were feeling tight (at least that size in that brand feels ridiculously loose- gotta justify stuff sometimes, right?). Now I know this brand just runs small because I have NEVER been a size 14 before (and refuse to say I am a size 14 because my other size 12 pants fit fine) but this was pretty much my turning point where I realized I was just so disappointed in myself. I have been in a funk lately about my weight and basically eating my feelings instead of just dealing with it and losing the weight (once again).

I'm tired of feeling disappointed in myself. Let's turn that disappointment into another 24 pound (maybe even more!) weight loss and this time PERMANENT. I had a "last hurrah" today and in the morning I will have a fresh start.

Here's to new beginnings and lessons learned from past mistakes!