Thursday, January 13, 2011

Commitment Issues

I have serious commitment issues with weight loss. When I was 12, I lost 30 pounds and gained back 50 (I wasn't very overweight because I had gotten soooo skinny after losing those 30 pounds, almost underweight actually). I didn't look too chubby, but I felt chubby by the time I was 19, almost 20. In 2009, I lost 24 pounds and felt awesome! Then I gained back 25 and started WW again. I've lost 5.8 pounds total so far at a snail speed of around .5 a week (because of a couple gains I've had) and here I am again...lacking motivation and doubting my commitment to weight loss.

I don't really know what it is, but I think it's because I'm used to seeing myself look average, maybe a little tiny bit chubby, instead of being one of those thin women I'm always jealous of (in terms of body shape). It could also be the fact that I like to eat all the foods that are bad for me, and not enough of the ones that keep you thin/losing weight.

Exhibit A? I was supposed to weigh-in (WI) today but I had a pizza fest last night and had to get up at the butt-crack of dawn this morning, so not much time to WI. I only like to WI in the mornings so I'm holding off until tomorrow. HOWEVER, I just had a mini-pizza binge again from the last night's pizza leftovers. I only ate like 3 slices worth  (they were cut into small squares with thin crust) and think I actually had the points for it today but that sodium may make me have a gain in the morning.

For now I'm going to just keep going and tracking and just hope I find some motivation. I think maybe I'm not feeling much motivation/commitment right now because I just started my new job today and I'm feeling kinda stressed about it. I had a great first day, but change stresses me out. When I'm stressed, I eat bad foods. Blah.

Anybody else going through this issue, too? I'm not going to give up, but I sure feel like it right now.

1 comment:

  1. My advice is find something to motivate you. For me its clothes. Aka Victoria secret catalog :) I also planned something big. I decided I'm going to run a half marathon in VEGAS. Not only will the running help me reach my goal (personally) and motivate me but also fit into that cocktail dress the BFF picked out for her wedding. Did I mention a fabulous Vacation? :) I would think of little rewards that can contribute towards the big reward.